Last year was not particularly exciting; it seemed that half of 2023 was completely out of my control, to the point that when I reread the summary I wrote in 2022, I could hardly find much difference. A somewhat worrying thought crossed my mind—2023, I left myself too little time.
You are reading an annual summary about me and this blog, along with the customary outlook for the future. However, besides that, there is a truth that has troubled me for years that I need to confess; if you care, please read to the end.
From 2022 to 2023#
Monkeys and Typewriters#
When I looked back at my annual summary from last year, I found that I wrote at the beginning of the article:
The activities in the open-source community decreased this year, as can be seen from my GitHub contribution graph.
Uh, to this, I want to say, this year did not get better either.
Just like last year, I briefly bubbled up in productivity mid-year and then suddenly exploded with productivity at the end of the year. I can't quite explain this phenomenon; maybe there's some magic in winter.
At the end of 2022, I wrote a web application called "Quirky Inspiration Generator." Coincidentally, at the end of 2023, I suddenly remembered this project. After trying to add new features but being disgusted by my own messy code (that kid from last year didn't write a single comment, really itching), I decided to rewrite it using Next.js 14 and renamed it to "Monkey Typewriter," adding a history feature, but other basic functions are still not complete, and the word bank is still old; it is currently in the testing phase.
Not long ago, I completely rewrote my blog, switching back from SvelteKit to Next.js, and after writing this article, I migrated from Next.js's Pages Router to App Router. In short, the rewritten blog is temporarily in a state that I find comfortable.
Speaking of the blog, I finally remembered where those scattered green dots at the end of this year came from. It turns out that back in June or July of this year, I had already rewritten the blog once; that blog was called Isla, and it lasted less than half a year. Looking back further, before Isla, my blog was powered by Typecho, and at that time, because I didn't have a record, I used a somewhat worrisome Bandwagon VPS. During this so-called "Bandwagon period," I pushed my blog to restart countless times. I vaguely remember that the name Eltrac was determined during one of the early rebuilds of the blog.
As for why I am so obsessed with rewriting my blog, perhaps it's because I am still young and can endure repeated tinkering; my thinking has not yet solidified, and my cognitive system is still under construction. In the process of continuous learning, I gradually realize the clumsiness of my previous works, and thus I want to tear them down and create a version that I am more satisfied with using the new knowledge and a more comprehensive way of thinking. Not just my blog, but also the previously mentioned "Quirky Inspiration Generator" and "Monkey Typewriter," I felt dissatisfied, so I started from scratch, transforming it into something I find better, more reasonable, and smarter.
This year, I did not create too many new, valuable things with my keyboard; most of it was about reconstructing the old, bad things into new, better things. Just like the renewal and iteration of cells, for me, 2022 to 2023 was a process of self-optimization.
Writing and Social Attitude#
My contributions to the Backrooms Chinese Wiki are still ongoing. At least before July this year, I was still relatively frequently publishing my original works on that site, initially in the horror genre, then influenced by the community, I shifted to a fictional writing style centered around "brain holes" and interesting ideas, and later gradually developed towards a more literary direction. Until July, I grew tired of the various factions' open and covert struggles within the community and increasingly did not understand what I wanted to write about Backrooms, so I chose to withdraw and wrote my first non-Backrooms short story in a long time, "The Suitcase."
This story, "The Suitcase," does not mention Backrooms at all, but the plot, characters, and items are almost all symbolic. The story formed by their combination symbolizes my struggles in the Backrooms Chinese writing community and the reasons for my withdrawal.
This story may not be understood by many besides me. After that, I also wrote a short story titled "The Dancer Over There Went Mad," but I did not publish it. I revisited many of my previous works and found their common flaw—leaving readers puzzled. At least so far, I have not been able to write a novel that allows people to fully understand the thoughts I want to express while also enjoying the plot.
Of course, it's not that there aren't any; some of my works in Backrooms do meet the above two points, but I wouldn't call them "novels." If you noticed, the title of this section is "Writing" rather than "Literary Creation," because I still don't think what I write can be called "literature." To put it another way, perhaps they can be called "popular literature." But that's not a bad thing; at least I and many others find it enjoyable.
Perhaps this turning point might seem a bit funny, but—three months after I chose to withdraw, I published my work again in Backrooms, and I will continue to do so. I am even preparing for a competition that the community will hold on New Year's Day. By the time this article is published, my work over there should also have been released.
My wandering in the Backrooms community may correspond to my changing attitude towards online socializing. Previously, most of my social activities were in various circles online, especially in the first half of this year, where almost all my online social activities were concentrated in this popular literature circle. Therefore, I was aware of all the trivial matters in the circle at that time, and the disputes related to creation in the community almost became "menstrual issues," quickly erupting again after calming down. I, despite standing on the same side as most people, often participated in these debates. Even if I did not participate, it was hard to maintain a calm mood in the face of the continuous output of text in the group chat.
These debates (I do not wish to call them debates like some in the community do, because as far as I know, a debate requires both sides to present factual evidence and maintain a clear mind, but unfortunately, we did not) are not entirely useless; at least they did provoke my thoughts, namely, "What exactly is Backrooms?" And these thoughts, my friend, are the truly useless things.
When I began to ponder these questions, I had completely forgotten why I started writing these stories in the first place. Although I did not fall into the overly philosophical question of "What is the essence of Backrooms?" which would even seem laughable in this context, I did indeed begin to doubt the gradually forming set of theories and frameworks related to Backrooms in my mind. I started to think that what I wrote before and what I might write in the future might not be Backrooms at all. Thus, to the confusion of others in the community, I, a newly appointed website moderator, suddenly announced that I would not write more articles related to Backrooms and that my future activities in the community would be limited to moderation work.
Then I withdrew from all Backrooms-related QQ group chats, and my world suddenly became much clearer.
After being so clear for a few months, leaving behind the community's trivial matters and unnecessary thoughts, I suddenly found my passion for creation again at some point. So in October this year, I returned, and this time I do not plan to join the mixed group chat again, accepting tons of negative information that regularly bombards me.
Getting Acquainted with Mysticism#
At the beginning of this year, I got to know Tarot through the Backrooms Tarot-themed competition. After a period of study, I successfully got into it. Currently, I have purchased over ten different styles of Tarot decks and have also come across another card divination tool called "Lenormand" through Tarot. I am now in a phase of promoting it to friends and family, giving them free readings for practice.
Tarot is a divination tool, and divination falls under the category of mysticism. Mysticism can almost be said to stand in opposition to science, but from my observation, most people do not reject it for that reason. Although they do not revere mysticism as they do science, they at least allow it to influence their lives. Many people have popularized Tarot and astrology, and although I do not appreciate this attitude, it at least indicates that modern people have a demand for the application of mysticism.
Mysticism, or at least Tarot, has two layers of influence on my life.
On one hand, it manifests in interpersonal communication. I believe divination can also be a tool to facilitate communication between the diviner and the querent, especially if the two are friends. Because during the divination process, the diviner and Tarot are perceived as a near "omniscient" presence to the querent, or at least the querent will have a mindset of "he/she is about to tell me something I did not know" and listen attentively. If the querent has a basic respect for the divination process and a certain level of trust, they will feel comfortable sharing personal matters that they do not often mention with the diviner. In such cases, the querent and the diviner can use Tarot as a bridge to explore a particular topic together. This topic may be the querent's recent worries or aspirations for the future, but in any case, the querent poses a question, the diviner offers new ideas using Tarot, and then both parties engage in dialogue through these "materials," seeking solutions to the problem and exploring deeper reasons behind it. This mode of communication is quite novel for me and has provided me, who is not good at socializing, with a new way of conversation that I can truly enjoy.
On the other hand, it influences my own life. After listening to many senior Tarot readers' advice, I began to draw a daily card with Tarot, which means at the beginning or end of the day, I draw a card to see how the day went, what I should pay attention to, what might happen, and how my personal state and energy are. Persisting in this practice has also given me the habit of journaling, as I need to "review" the drawn daily card, which means figuring out what person or event today corresponds to that card. Naturally, I need to write down what happened today. This practice also enhances my understanding of the cards. For example, on the day I drew "The Tower," things did not spiral out of control as I feared; instead, I completed many accumulated tasks in a rather anxious manner. Although it went relatively smoothly, the quality was poor. Through this experience, I also understood that "The Tower" does not simply point to "disaster," because the element corresponding to "The Tower" is fire, which ultimately relates to human subjectivity, and the process of "The Tower" collapsing is rapid and distressing, while the aftermath can bring a sense of relief. That evening, I submitted a messy draft with the attitude of "Well, whatever, it is what it is," and the feeling inside was indeed a long-lost release.
In addition to drawing daily cards, I occasionally try to use Tarot to answer difficult questions in my life. Although at the beginning of the year, when I was still in a "love brain" state, Tarot laid many warnings bare before me, which I ignored, by the end of this year, it indeed helped me clear away some unnecessary emotions and unworthy people.
Here, I must "armor up." What I want to say is that Tarot and any divination tool are merely "tools," not a form of "faith." We should use them correctly to positively impact our lives and help others, rather than falling into excessive trust in divination. When making significant decisions, considering multiple factors is far more reliable than solely believing in the results of divination.
Mysticism and Tarot have become one of the most influential things I learned this year. Its impact has not been intense; it has been subtle, but based on the changes I currently observe, I can only say that I am very satisfied and glad that I first encountered Tarot. I also look forward to it bringing more help to my life in the future.
The Sacred and Inviolable Self#
The original title of this section was "Interpersonal Communication," but I ultimately changed it to this title that seems unrelated to anyone but myself. However, upon careful consideration, when the concept of "self" has the notion of being "invaded," it is indeed inseparable from others.
In the first half of 2023, I almost disappeared from the Chinese independent blogging circle, having only published a few articles in January, with subsequent blog updates occurring only after July. The specific reasons will be mentioned in the "confession" I will do later.
For half of last year, I was communicating with friends I met at the end of last year in the Backrooms community about topics related to creation, and of course, sometimes it was just casual chatting.
Regarding new friends, I met Cakelord in Backrooms, a Canadian who speaks Chinese, Spanish, and English. He once referred to me as his "favorite author" on the Backrooms Chinese Wiki and left serious comments on many of my works. I also enjoyed chatting with him on Discord, and we are still in touch. He has had a significant impact on me in 2023, at least he is the person I remember most vividly.
I also met Suzi on the Backrooms Discord server, a Latin enthusiast from Taiwan. My other name "Lychnus" was given to me by her, meaning "lamp" in Latin. I occasionally discuss topics related to society, language, and theology with her, but she knows much more than I do in these areas, and I always learn a lot from chatting with her. She is also the first person I know who has bipolar disorder, but I did not feel anything pathological in her words and actions before knowing this. I admire her for being active in her favorite field and community.
Of course, I have also kept in touch with many old friends, occasionally sharing phenolphthalein (Bailuo Jia), playing Don't Starve with OnceKing, and so on.
Regarding real life, it is worth mentioning the friends I met in the school magazine club in October this year. Although there was not much communication while working together, I could see the light in everyone's eyes during team-building activities; everyone was striving to live their own way. In such a group where we are not familiar with each other on a daily basis, I could also feel a precious sense of belonging. Although I do not like to talk about reality on my blog, I think this is indeed something worth recording.
Another group in real life that I feel I need to commemorate later is the classmates I studied with in an off-campus class. There, I felt a sense of friendship and belonging that is hard to find in college, reminiscent of middle school days, and the people in the group are not as naive as middle school students. I can see everyone's shining points and their ideals. There, I enjoyed childlike fun with an adult's mind, which is wonderful.
As you can see, the title "The Sacred and Inviolable Self" does not selfishly refer only to myself but to everyone I connect with, and even to everyone in the world under my ideal mode of interpersonal communication. Everyone is different, differing in personality, ideals, aspirations, and hobbies. Each person's differences are sacred and inviolable. Even in everyday interpersonal communication, under the collective management, this beautiful and awe-inspiring difference should not be destroyed by anyone. All self-righteous behaviors that demand others to change stem from ignorance, foolishness, and a lack of aesthetic sensibility.
I feel very fortunate to have met these interesting people this year and to be a part of their wonderful lives. I want to express my gratitude for not being subjected to the middle school-style, prison-like personality suppression this year; I have waited too long for this freedom.
My Delayed Confession#
Thank you for reading this far after I kept you in suspense for so long. The matter I need to confess is neither big nor small, but it has indeed troubled me for a long time. Irresponsibly speaking, this issue is not my fault but a small mistake made by a poor child who knew nothing and lacked a sense of security several years ago. However, this snowball has grown larger and larger, and although it does not significantly affect you, the readers; for me—an adult who no longer needs that insecurity—it is indeed a considerable burden.
I have never found a suitable time to discuss this matter because if I casually insert it into an article, it might seem too hasty; but if I write a separate article, it feels a bit like making a mountain out of a molehill. Moreover, this matter has not attracted much attention from anyone besides myself and a few old friends. Just as it is time to write an annual summary and look forward to the new year, this matter fits perfectly here, allowing everyone to know and giving me peace of mind.
I am actually three years younger than you think.
I remember I first got into programming in the fifth or sixth grade of elementary school, and then, probably in the first or second year of middle school, by chance, I met Xiaogang and started tinkering with my independent blog using Typecho. Subsequently, I naturally came into contact with web front-end and PHP. During this time, I met the great Gaz (who no longer blogs now), who helped me a lot, and I also met phenolphthalein (Bailuo Jia), with whom I had a good rapport. We are still in touch. He is one of my more important friends online. According to QQ statistics, as of writing this article, I have known him for 1777 days, almost five years.
At that time, everything felt new and exciting; I loved making friends everywhere and exchanged links with many bloggers, meeting more people, such as AlanDecode, the author of the Raw and VOID themes (both Typecho themes), a big shot who used to be called Heibing but has since stopped communicating, Paul, the author of the Single theme, and a peer named Kengwang, who dared to admit he was in middle school from the start... As my online social circle expanded, many people began to directly or indirectly ask about my age.
At that time, as a fifteen or sixteen-year-old kid, perhaps due to experiences of age discrimination on other platforms, I cautiously told others that I was a high school student, and when I actually became a high school student, I naturally became a college student in their eyes. By now, those old friends who haven't seen this article should think I am already a senior, but in fact, I am a freshman. That's right, in June 2023, I just finished the college entrance examination. This is the reason for my near disappearance in the first half of 2023.
I think I owe an apology to those who cared about me, whether in the past or present. Three years ago, Gaz helped that little brat preparing for the high school entrance examination to seriously consider college entrance examination choices, and looking back, I still feel a bit guilty, but his advice did indeed help me this year. Phenolphthalein, who has been communicating with me intermittently, has always regarded me as a peer who is only one year younger. I wonder what he will think when he sees this news.
For so many years, since I found my own piece of paradise on the internet, my online social circle and my real-life friend circle have always been disconnected. Every time I updated my QQ space, I would block people from the other circle. This was caused by my low self-identity at a young age, and this issue has persisted until now.
This topic seems to have become a bit heavy, but I was actually ready to speak out long ago; it was just, as I mentioned earlier, lacking an opportunity. So, to lighten the topic, I decided to end this segment with this sentence:
@Broca, I’m not a virgin loser who’s almost twenty-two; I just turned 18, and although I’m not as early as you, it’s only a little late, you know?
My Plans on the Internet#
In the past, I was someone who liked to "make plans," because the final results of the things I wanted to accomplish were very appealing to me in my mind, so I always eagerly wanted to depict the images in my mind and share them with others. For example, I once wrote on my blog that I would create a Typecho theme called "Windbell" and went on and on about my design ideas, but the final progress of this theme was just creating a folder. There are many reasons why these things ultimately did not come to fruition; some were due to busy studies, some because I found that the short-term results were contrary to my expectations after practice, and some simply because, while doing it, I suddenly stopped, and I didn't even know why.
Fortunately, I gradually learned to simply record new ideas in my notebook or phone memo first when they arise, and when I have time, I would try them out. If I achieve some results, I would then show them to others, seek opinions, and continue working on them. When they are nearly done and at a trialable level, I would announce them to everyone.
The result of this approach is that the quality of the things I create has significantly improved, the number of discarded drafts has also significantly increased, but the discarded drafts that were exposed have almost disappeared. The only downside is that my blog update frequency has decreased, but I can start writing other types of articles to fill this gap. So overall, this way of doing things makes me feel comfortable, and the results it brings are quite good.
What I hope is to maintain this attitude in 2024. Now that I no longer have to worry about the college entrance examination and heavy studies, my scattered GitHub contribution graph should return to the peak of 2022 without missing a day next year, and the blog will not be as overgrown as it is now. Of course, these are just hopes, not plans.
As for the real plans, I do not want to say too much because, as I just mentioned, I have learned the lesson of "saying but not doing," and the upcoming plans are also based on what I am "currently doing."
First is this website; I will no longer define it as a personal blog but as an independent blog maintained by an individual that produces shareable and valuable content. This means I will not allow myself to vent on this site; even when discussing personal matters, I will keep it brief, maintain a certain distance, and treat the content I publish on the blog as articles rather than diaries. Regarding this change, I was actually influenced by Velas Radio Station and Mobius. In the future, the positioning of the website will gradually align with these two sites.
This also means that I will no longer allow myself to publish too much personal information on this site, just like authors of published books only include a brief self-introduction on the cover and title page. If readers want to know this person more deeply, they must read the book he/she wrote and understand the person through the text.
However, I do have a need for a more detailed "self-introduction." After careful consideration, I decided to purchase another domain name that represents myself, solely for personal display. This means that shortly in 2024, my online presence will look like this:
- A new domain (for personal display)
- Multilingual personal introduction
- Social media information
- Navigation, linking all internet resources related to me
- Diary or some casual remarks
- www.guhub.cn (for the services I provide online)
- Chinese blog, focusing on content production
- Web Lab, some web applications I created
As for what that "new domain" will be, I haven't decided yet. Suzi helped me choose a Latin word meaning "lighthouse," Pharus, which I quite like, but later found out it shares a name with a company, which made it feel less valuable, so I am still struggling with what this domain should be called.
Additionally, I plan to start a series of articles titled "Getting Started but Not Proficient," introducing interesting knowledge and insights in different fields without spending too much time on in-depth research, just explaining the essence that the public might be interested in. I am currently writing the first issue, and if you are interested, you can subscribe to my blog.
Alright, the much-anticipated planning segment ends here.
Cross-Time Dialogue#
In last year's annual summary, I left some questions for this year's self. At that time, I wrote:
I know myself; this time next year, I will definitely flip to this page to see how I wrote the annual summary this year because I cannot help but look for references when writing an article that requires organization and format. So, I decided to emulate Mobius's annual summary and leave a few questions for next year's self.
Although I did flip through last year's annual summary, the reason was not to "find references" for this annual summary but to see what I did this year and compare the two years. In this regard, my writing ability has indeed improved quite a bit.
Now, let's see what questions last year's self asked:
About Self-Love#
You always feel unworthy of love; can you talk about the lovely qualities you possess?
No joke, seeing that I left myself such a question, my reaction was: Wow, how could this little brat from a year ago be so self-deprecating? If this person were not me, I would really want to curse.
I vaguely remember that in 2022, I finally let go of a love that had been intermittent for four or five years during a somewhat sudden argument, which I could not sort out myself. That unhealthy relationship brought too many negative emotions to my adolescence, probably from the age of twelve to sixteen. I felt inferior because of a fool who did not appreciate my worth, which grew infinitely in the depths of my insecure middle school heart.
Perhaps my unweathered brain was indeed too eager for intimacy. After I cursed that fool with my friends and breezed through two months without any attachments, I fell again because of another fool's smile. Fortunately, this pain only lasted a year, not because I learned my lesson but because I lost my mind even more and confessed to an unworthy person three times. In the end, I had him tear up the love letter I wrote and put the torn paper deep in the drawer of my desk.
By the summer and autumn of 2023, I encountered another person. He had served two years in the military, but beneath his strong exterior lay a hint of gentleness, and his personality seemed to blend that of an adult and a child. It seemed that many stories were hidden beneath his good looks. I don't know how to describe the chemistry between us; I was indeed attracted to him, and it was not like the previous two relationships where I was merely infatuated. I recommended he take the MBTI personality test, and his result was INFP-T, just like mine. At that time, I only felt that we were fated, without realizing that he would also evade responsibility like my past self. On an ordinary autumn day, amidst the faint mist and the glow of traffic lights, I put on my favorite autumn outfit but did not wait for him at that intersection.
He did not block me, but he never replied to my messages again. I do not understand why; perhaps it was the terrifying social pressure for him, or perhaps I do not understand what is best. This beautiful moment was fleeting, but the good thing is that its disappearance was far less heart-wrenching than those two relationships; it merely added a touch of sadness to my otherwise unremarkable daily life on a boring afternoon.
I really thought that one would work out...
Perhaps it is true that extremes meet; experiencing too many blows to my self-esteem has made me stronger, or perhaps I have simply come to terms with some things. The causality of any event is extremely complex, and one cannot attribute any failure to a single factor. The fact that I had no outcome with them does not mean I am unworthy of love; it is just that some people are afraid to come out, some are afraid of commitment, some have never thought about what they truly want, some blindly pursue momentary happiness, and some still have their own wounds that have not healed.
Writing to this point, I realize I misunderstood the question; I should have answered "Can you talk about the lovely qualities you possess?" Well, it's not too late to change my answer now; my response is:
I am just lovable; I don't need a reason.
Constraints on the Self#
Do you still believe that humanity should break free from all constraints to show their true selves? Just like you once thought "phallus centrism" should be translated as "penis worship," because you believe that humanity creates this so-called "formality" merely to cover up, the more sacred the name, the more filthy the actions it conceals.
I actually want to end this question with a simple "Hell yeah!" but considering this is still a serious summary, I should say a few more words.
I seem to have never mentioned my moral views on the blog. I believe "as long as it does not harm anyone, it is moral." If removing these "constraints" does not make anyone unhappy or offended, then it is certainly permissible.
However, what I mean by "unhappy or offended" does not include statements like "you can't talk about such things openly" or "students should behave like students," because they are precisely the constraints I mentioned.
I am not harming anyone or breaking the law; why shouldn't I be able to live the way I want?
About Self-Worth#
How do you view the recognition of others? Which is more important, the realization of self-worth or the recognition of others?
At least for me, the realization of self-worth largely depends on others, though not entirely. For example, the articles and novels I write, or the games I might create in the future, I create them to express my thoughts and convey certain messages. Since we are talking about "expression" and "conveyance," it inevitably involves the receiver of the information, namely the readers, listeners, and players. Only when they understand what I want to express does my work become meaningful, and when my work has meaning, my self-worth is realized.
In summary, the realization of self-worth requires "me, conveying thoughts through my work," and also requires "others, understanding the connotation of my work."
However, the question mentions "recognition from others," which is somewhat different from "being understood." I believe recognition must be based on understanding; only after understanding can one feel agreement, which counts as recognition. For recognition from others, I think it is more of a "motivation." When Cakelord says I am his favorite author, that joy is rare. Of course, there are also some outspoken individuals in the Backrooms community who claim that some of my works "lack literary value," but I don't mind much because they are right; I am not aiming for literature.
I am just a guy who writes stories, a happy bumpkin.
What kind of creation can be called good creation? Does it have to have depth?
I decided to answer this question together with the previous one because my self-worth largely depends on the feedback from my creations.
My answer is "Oh, hell no." It is too boring to be obsessed with depth and meaning all day long. I believe that any work that is heartfelt has its depth. Those works that may not have profound meanings but can evoke genuine emotional responses and resonate with people, even if they are quite cliché, are still valuable.
The only creations I do not recognize are those that are self-indulgent, created for the sake of creation, or kitschy works.
Perhaps because I am an outsider, I do not like to classify creations into high and low. If I had to categorize, I would rather look at how many people liked and praised the work in the public eye and how much emotional value it brought, rather than getting caught up in its literary value.
Questions for Next Year's Self#
Let this Q&A become a tradition for this blog. Here are the questions I leave for next year's self:
- What is the work you are most satisfied with when you are writing the annual summary for 2024?
- Are you satisfied with your current life?
- What people or things that you think will impact your life have you encountered this year?
- You have always wanted to do game development; how is that goal progressing now?
Incomplete Annual Statistics#
Phew, I have written so much; let's switch to a lighter topic.
In 2023, I read a total of seven books:
- "Introduction to Logic" - [Chinese] Gesang
- "The Nameless Town" - [Japanese] Higashino Keigo
- "Summer, Fireworks, and My Corpse" - [Japanese] Otsuichi
- "Zoo" - [Japanese] Otsuichi
- "Solaris" - [Polish] Stanisław Lem
- "Everything Will Be Alright" - [Australian] Anxious Lines
- "Doraemon Volume 0 50th Anniversary Commemorative Book" - [Japanese] Fujiko F. Fujio
Yes, I count comics too; why not?
In 2023, I added the following games to my Steam library:
- "Moo Moo Apocalypse," the game itself cost about 76 yuan, and the DLC cost 48 yuan
Fun, buy it fast - "Cuphead," played for a total of 37 minutes, reason: too bad
- "Portal," played for a total of 57 minutes, reason: dizzy
- "Portal 2," never started
- "Stray," played for a total of 27 minutes, reason: died,
your mom - "Stacking," fun, except a bit monotonous
- "The Survivalists," obscure and not fun
- "Superliminal," because I was home alone during the summer vacation, I played it three times before finishing it
- "Rusty Lake," bought the entire series but only played two parts
- "Donut County," interesting, short process, can be bought if you like cute styles
- "Left 4 Dead," accurately hit my roommate in a horde of zombies
- "Slime Rancher," cute and brainless
- "Gary's Mod," just bought, haven't played it to the essence yet
- "Draw & Guess," I am a normie guessing Japanese anime with a bunch of otaku
This kid is really a spendthrift.
In 2023, after the college entrance examination, I underwent a three-month weight loss program. During this period, I consumed about three boxes of buckwheat noodles, twenty pieces of chicken breast, about ten broccoli florets, countless apples, cucumbers, potatoes, and dihydrogen monoxide; used cooking utensils about 180 times, went out for night runs totaling eighty kilometers after eight o'clock, and jumped rope at home about two hundred thousand times. Ultimately, I successfully lost about twenty kilograms and did not rebound after entering university, instead of gorging myself.
In summary, next year I want to read more, play more games, and eat more.
At the End of the Beginning#
I didn't expect that this simple annual summary would stretch to ten thousand words, and I appreciate you for reading this far.
At this "end" of the "beginning," I drew a Tarot card to summarize my life in 2023, and the card was the reversed Page of Wands. The Page of Wands, in my eyes, is a passionate learner filled with various novel ideas, but the reversed Page of Wands seems somewhat lost in his thoughts, unsure of how to act, which may stem from a conflict between his abilities and ideas. However, this kind of conflict seems to be something everyone must experience; at least from what I observe, things are moving in a positive direction.
After this, I have nothing more to say, so:
Happy New Year!
See you!
Due to a recent issue with Giscus that has not been promptly fixed by the author, comments on the blog are temporarily unavailable. If you wish, you can send me an email or a private message, and I will post your comments here. Thank you to everyone for your serious messages!
I was busy with other things during the New Year and didn't check the blog. It was only when Mikusa reminded me that I realized you tagged Broca in your year-end summary (laughs). After reading it, I just thought, "So Cola is only a freshman," which surprised me a bit. However, my Japanese teacher said to us graduates when we graduated, "When I graduated, my teacher said he envied us young students; now it’s my turn to say this to you." I can't remember what she said afterward, so I will take the liberty of adding, "I hope your youth brings you endless possibilities in your future life."
Finally, I wish you a speedy loss of virginity!
Sincerely, Bailuo Jia